Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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