I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize