she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
