so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
