She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
