I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You're like the curious george of whores
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
