just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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