some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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