my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
