so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
no you cant smoke seaweed
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.