The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.