We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
