sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
