Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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