Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I use my feet as sexual weapons
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
