Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
