just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
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He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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