Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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