I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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