I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize