He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
