I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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