Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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