I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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