I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
