Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
