She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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