Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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