he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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