Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
