don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize