Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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