I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
