There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize