Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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