i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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