I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
