Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
