omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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