I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
