he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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