Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I will be naked everywhere
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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