i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize