I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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