Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
