we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
