He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
