I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
