I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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