ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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