what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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