Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
