I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
