Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
