My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
