You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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