I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
